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[18 Aug 2008|01:17pm] |
i ammmm in nicaragua. it issssss very hot here. it´s been blazing around 90-95 degrees for the past 2 weeks. i have acquired many bug bites here. and yo tomo mucho sol. pero no hablo mucho espanol. did spanish school for a week. my maestro didn´t know ANY english, which made things difficult. done with that now. now i am i granada for one more day and i am off for managua and then onto mulukuku in El RAAN. region autonimo atlantico norte. there i will meet megan in the womens clinic where she has been volunteering. maybe spend a few days there and then once again move on to another city. i have 3 and a half more weeks here. should be interesting. i cannot lie, i do look forward to being somewhere where i can fluidly communicate with people. maybe before i leave i will be able to do that here.
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[04 Aug 2008|01:01am] |
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if this is the way she will love me, it is not enough. i have passion. it's not enough for the two of us.
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[07 May 2008|01:05am] |
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mood |
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i smell something dead.
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| but who would listen? |
[28 Apr 2008|11:21pm] |
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sometimes i break.
i have the EMT test in 2 weeks. I have to study. I am an insomniac.., or at least a lousy sleeper. i spend two hours a day on the bus or walking to work. i work 40+ hours a week.
i'm tired. my crew is tired. i wouldn't be shocked if someone quits in the next week or two. ian's last day was today. i solemnly wished him the best of luck. i have to hire someone NOW and magically fill all the empty spaces on the schedule NOW. i, most likely, will end up filling those spaces. i am not allowed to give anyone over-time. can I have over-time? my employer expects these things of me. i make 14.75 an hour. i have little to no money. no money mean ZERO money. it does not mean a few hundred dollars. oh, i spend 60 dollars or more a month on bus fare. i need to ride my bike. remind me of that.
my heart hurts. i say stupid things and in-turn my lover says hurtful things and then we punish each other with distance. this hurts my everything. i was on the verge of tears all day today. this can't be right. carrying on like this. codependence.
i need to be a better person.
i need to be less angry. i need to love myself more.
i need to treat my lover respectfully and fairly.
i took a walk tonight. jumped out of bed and got dressed. my everything was hurting so bad that i couldn't stay still, couldn't be in this room. i walked around for a half hour or so. found a dollar on the ground. took it as a sign that my luck is turning. i like my neighborhood. people are friendly to me. people greeted me on the street in wallingford, but it seemed like they were pained by doing so. i don't feel that here. i feel connected.
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[24 Mar 2008|11:10pm] |
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"..you sleep on a mattress on the floor in a group home."
that's rich. rich like that girl in the Hall & Oates song "Rich Girl". y'all know that song??
ugh.
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[19 Jan 2008|09:28pm] |
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i love her dearly and she doesn't want me.
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[19 Jan 2008|09:26pm] |
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haha.. welllll, at least i can exercise and get my school/travel stuff straight now.
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[11 Jan 2008|03:43pm] |
i did it. i got my blue belt after nearly 8 months of training with sensei Lewis.
the test was easy. a little too easy. maybe, as a result of my being really well trained. i just imagined the BIG test would have been a lot more difficult.
i did another thing.
i got my cpr and aed for the professional rescuer certification. if anyone needs cpr or their heart defib'd, come to me. don't forget to bring the AED.. cause i don't have one.
i am going to achieve my goals. in fact, if christ herself stood in my way, i, like nietzsche, would not hesitate to squish him like a worm.
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[02 Jan 2008|11:10pm] |
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what if i disappeared for a long time?
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[02 Jan 2008|09:55pm] |
veronica got married.
notice jack daniels milling about in the background. nice.
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[31 Dec 2007|02:25am] |
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wow. what an asshole.
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[26 Dec 2007|12:17am] |
omd!!! i haven't seen my gf in 11 days and it's driving me nuts.. rarrrrgggg! whine whine whine.
also,
i went to the dungeness spit today with Jables and Mables. we thrashed each other with noodly appendages.
on the way home, stuck in traffic, we saw in the next lane over on the ground a dead body. and it didn't bother me much. people die. people die all the time. all i could think of was how pleased i was that it didn't bother me much. it will make my future career (cough) a bit easier to stomach if i can deal with seeing the human body destroyed.
found out later that a cop killed him. the deets are still out out out on this one..
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| x-posted from m-space |
[03 Dec 2007|09:08pm] |
CheA. Best Donut? say what?
n/m Vegnews content.
n/m what the competition might have been (if any?)
- just lemme have my moment!
ahhhh.. moment past.
www.mightyo.com
Readers: 180,000
Circulation: 60,000
Distribution Outlets Include
• Paid Subscriptions (including acquired Vegetarian Baby & Child
Magazine subscribers and Nosh Magazine subscribers)
• Natural food stores, restaurants, cafés & bookstores
• Vegetarian Organizations
• Local & National Events
• Sample Issue Requests
• Natural Product Companies
• Industry Leaders & Journalists
• US Public & University Libraries
Geographic Breakdown
• New England (CT, MA, ME, NH, RI, VT): 11%
• Middle Atlantic (NJ, NY, PA): 21%
• East North Central (IL, IN, MI, OH, WI): 8%
• West North Central (IA, KS, MN, MO, ND, NE, SD): 2%
• South Atlantic (DC, DE, FL, GA, MD, NC, SC, VA, WV): 9%
• East South Central (AL, KY, MS, TN): 2%
• West South Central (AR, LA, OK, TX): 4%
• Mountain (AZ, CO, ID, MT, NM, NV, UT, WY): 4%
• Pacific (AK, CA, HI, OR, WA): 36%
• Canada and Overseas: 3%
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[27 Nov 2007|09:22pm] |
i need to GTFO. there's no future in the dono-grind for me. i want a skill that i can take on the road, something i can learn from.
i told R i'd do it for 3 years, at least until my brother gets out of prison. i wanted stability and i wanted to be able to share that with Will when he gets released. he gets out in 2 months.
the time is here. time to move on.
we had a talk tonight about me going to school. he said he'd get me whatever time i need off for classes. now i just need the money.
btw, can i borrow some money?
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[24 Nov 2007|08:05pm] |
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my heart hurts pretty bad right now.
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[23 Nov 2007|05:32pm] |
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i don't have to Buy Nothing when i can Steal Everything.
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[17 Nov 2007|07:48pm] |
what's good?
work's good. health's good. aint sleepin too good.
love is good. doin my politics is good. shavin' my face.
kissin' my girl. hugging my friends. talkin' on the phone.
meeting comrades. reading books. still dumpster diving.
not drinking much. just growing up. being serious.
this is my boo, she's lovely:
love and rage,
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[05 Nov 2007|02:02am] |
MARCUS EATS JAZMINES PUSSY
&
IM NOT
LYING
i read that on the back of a seat on the metro tonight.
up until that point i had been feeling pretty cynical.
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[26 Oct 2007|12:48am] |
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mood |
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wouldn't change one hair.
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[12 Oct 2007|09:48pm] |
having feelings for someone is really hard to deal with! :^\
i'm gonna back that thang up and chill the fuck out now.
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